before，总是要说再见，相聚又分别。 after，转眼又是一年，转眼又是秋天。 ps，脸上好像又多痘痘了。 以及 http://www.joyong.net/download/m7.mp3
晚上和同事一起吃饭。 他们说他们合同要到期了。公司没续签的念头。。 心里有点郁闷。 嗯。 难受。 有人发信息说还是多愁善感。 我却发现自己多么没安全感。
昨天回家。先去医院，然后和爸妈一起回来。 下午看电视看睡着了，最后小宝宝醒了自己坐起来看着我，嘴里咕噜着什么把我弄醒了。 生命真的很奇怪，上次回去还不会说话，一个月就开始妈妈的叫了。而且会和你学。现在会欢迎、鼓掌、招呼你过来…… 可是，一想到爸爸和外公相隔两天住院我心里就堵着什么。害怕有一天爸爸妈妈都走了，剩我一个。我想我宁愿做个孩子。或者，我没有责任感，无所谓。只要可以和他们在一起。 夜里做了个噩梦。早上醒的很早。 下午在车上的时候又在睡。后面是个美女，偶很想去搭讪，可是却没有心情，一点动力也没有。害怕认识人，开…
刚刚打电话回去奶奶接的。我问我妈呢。。。她说不在。我说打了几次都没人接然后奶奶才说爸爸住院了，手指好像出了点问题。电话里听的不太清，好像是断了。。 心疼。 最近太背了。 想哭。 后天回去。
腿子说的对。别人怎么对他自己只要同样对我就行。 当然，当时说的那个人不是我现在说的那个人，只是套用那句话。 宽心宽心。。。想那么多干吗。大不了以后不交往就是了。 我tmd最鄙视已经答应我的事而且是重要的事最后出尔反尔！ 我根本就没指望什么以后还会记得当初我是怎么帮助她的。本来当初就没想要她回报。 落落和teddy说的很对。我tmd是傻b。但不管怎样，落落过去一年所帮助我的，铭记在心。 为某人感到不值。明明他人不把她当什么可她还自以为感觉很好的和他人很热乎。（靠，老子不也是这样！）狠不幸的是，偏偏这些都给我看到了！那…
今天发现居然和偶一个楼。。。。 好像在偶楼上。。。不确定ing。。。没见她下电梯。。以后搭讪有借口鸟。。。 仔细看了看。。。是比某琉某璃肥。个子矮了点。没气质。 汇报完毕
刚在车上。突然想到某年某时某王生病。 鄙视自己。居然给肠胃不好的人冷的东西喝。。。 鄙视m，明明我要的是热的。抵制m，虽然离那家m只有百米距离，偶就是不去，宁愿去乐客多那的k。 鄙视自己，当时看都没看拎起来就跑。 害的某王半路又吐了。 罪孽深重啊。。。鄙视自己再。 沉重反省中。 往事一幕幕。
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